


It's Okay, I Promise

by moonysimon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A Very Potter Musical - Freeform, A Very Potter Sequel, AVPM References, Agender Character, Angst, Blood, British, Bullying, England (Country), Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Second Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Jealousy, M/M, Magic, Male Slash, Marauders' Era, Minor Violence, Muggle-born, Other, POV Female Character, Potions, Potions Class (Harry Potter), Romance, Trust, Truth or Dare, Violence, Werewolves, Witches, Wizards
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-07-03 20:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15826332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonysimon/pseuds/moonysimon
Summary: Based on the Marauders’ Era of Harry Potter, in which Peter Pettigrew is replaced by [y/n], a sixth-year Gryffindor boy/girl/enby who happens to take a particular liking to Remus Lupin. (for the sake of the reader, [y/n] will be referred to by they/them pronouns so anyone—regardless of gender—can read it)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's early sixth year for [y/n], Remus, James and Sirius and they're already planning something that can get them into a load of trouble.

It’s already sixth year. Holy shit. I don’t realize how little time we have left at Hogwarts until we’re talking about it in the Gryffindor common room. 

“Less than two years,” James mentions.

“Bloody hell, we better get our shit together,” Sirius adds.

Remus and I chuckle, and James seems to take it seriously—to impress Lily Evans, no doubt. I have to admit, it would be nice of him to stop hexing random students simply because he can.

The four of us have been friends since our first year. In second year, we all found out about Remus’s condition and James and Sirius learned how to become animagi last year. I’m still working on it—I haven’t gotten it quite right yet. Other than that, contradicting class schedules, and James’s Quidditch practices, the four of us are practically inseparable. I even sneak out of my dorm to stay with them half of the time, which is what I end up doing tonight after our reminiscent conversation.

Their dorm has an extra bed, and I’ve contemplated just moving all of my stuff here and staying with them permanently, but the students who stay in my dorm are suspicious enough that I disappear for entire nights so often. The last thing I need is for someone to rat on me to a professor and have me stripped of my “privileges” of staying in a dorm room that actually feels like home. 

Sirius has his section of the room set up like a muggle boy’s, with posters of motorcycles, jets and sexy women, and honestly, I kind of love it. Coming from a muggle family, I feel as if Sirius’s room decorations should be what makes me feel at home, but in reality, it’s Remus. It’s just Remus. 

•••

Potions class comes naturally to me, I usually get my work done quickly—and James subsequently gets a free ride considering he’s my partner for the class. Professor Slughorn allows me to study more advanced potions in my extra time, and while I mainly try to study healing potions and anything to lessen pain, James often convinces me to read up on potions to aid in his shenanigans. 

“Veritaserum. We could use that,” says James.

“To get people to truthfully tell you that your an ass?”

He laughs. “For a game of truth or dare? Would you rather?”

“That should be interesting, we can invite Lily Evans to join us,” joins Sirius, taking a seat beside James.

Remus sits beside me.

“You two finish early, too?” I ask.

Remus nods. “Are we really going to brew Veritaserum for the sake of a game?”

“I vote yes,” says James.

“I second,” adds Sirius.

“It’s fairly advanced. Didn’t Slughorn mention that he expects us to make it after we succeed at brewing all the N.E.W.T. level potions?” I really don’t want anyone getting hurt if I fuck up an advanced potion.

“We can try our hand at it now, and we’ll be better prepared for our advanced potions in the future,” James persuades, with a tone making it evident that he won’t stop until I give in.

I sigh. “Alright, but you’re gathering my ingredients.” I write down everything I need and hand the list to James, only to copy it again in my notes and proceed to take notes on what the textbook has to offer in regards to the truth serum.

James takes the list, then glances at Severus Snape. I’ve noticed Severus starting a few times, but we’re speaking quietly enough that he shouldn’t be able to hear us scheming. With Severus, I always have to be cautious. He’s always attempting to find ways to get the four of us expelled—James and Sirius for obvious reasons, but Remus and I by association. Since it was James who caught him staring this time, there was no doubt in my mind that James would hex him.

“Don’t—” I warn, too late.

Severus’s arm jerks as James flicks his wand firmly, knocking an extra ingredient into his potion. He winces in pain and grabs his arm, watching his potion change in colour.

“Seriously? A stinging hex?” I whisper sternly to James, who is too busy trying not to laugh with Sirius.

Remus consolingly pats me on the shoulder, as my efforts to get them to stop bullying Severus are always in vain.

“At least you try,” Remus says regretfully, but with a subtle smile. 

The words almost feel like a punch, but I’m not entirely sure why. I know that Remus wants to stand up for Severus, but he never does because he doesn’t want to even slightly risk losing James and Sirius. He cares too much about their friendship to disagree with them. It’s technically not my problem, it shouldn’t affect me like that.

“What is it?” Remus asks.

“What?” My expression must have conveyed my thoughts without my intention. 

“Are you alright? If you’re upset about them we can—” 

I cut him off. “I’m not upset about it, don’t worry,” I smile.

I’m not upset about James not listening to me, I’m not upset about Severus’s “misfortune”, and I’m not upset about James and Sirius laughing. I’m upset about the smallest indication that Remus is potentially feeling upset. Is that cruel?

Regardless, seeing Remus relax inherently causes me to relax.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [y/n] reflects on their second year at Hogwarts, and one of the most important moments for [y/n] and Remus's friendship.

I care about Remus way too much, which was a secret—up until second year. Remus had kept a secret from James, Sirius and I, but at some point in second year, it seemed like they all had something to hide. Initially, I assumed it was some drama between James and Lily or something (some stupid twelve-year-old crush or romance involving one of them) but I later realized they were only acting strange around me. That went on for two months.

 

Since I was twelve, I wasn’t very concerned that I had done something wrong (nowadays, that would be exactly what I would worry about) so I was determined to figure out why they were acting so odd.  
   
I noted everything. When Remus would disappear for days at a time and come back with new scars when the boys were acting strangest, whatever phrases they reacted weirdly to, everything. Of course, my dumbass still thought werewolves weren’t real—I had read countless stories of them as a child before I even knew about magic and Hogwarts, so I genuinely thought they were made up considering how different witches and wizards are from muggle’s fiction.  
   
One Saturday, after the two months of being too stupid to follow the only actual lead I had, I decided to steal James’s Invisibility Cloak and follow them during one of Remus’s disappearances.  
   
“ _I can’t find my cloak!_ ” James whisper-shouted.  
   
“ _There isn’t any time to look, let’s just go,_ ” Sirius said, rushing James along and supporting Remus, who already seemed to be hurting.  
   
I’ve snuck out of the dorms with them before, but I had never seen them be so careful and quick. I silently followed them all the way up to the Whomping Willow—which I had been terrified of since the first time I saw it.  
   
James took a deep breath. It seemed like he’d had a couple encounters with it but definitely not enough to be confident in not getting hurt. He ran towards the tree.  
   
It took a lot out of me not to shout “ _James!_ ” and reach out my arm and drop the cloak in the process. Somehow, I convinced myself not to do any of that.  
   
Incredibly, James got to the base of the Whomping Willow unharmed and poked one of the knots, calming the tree. When the commotion of the tree stopped, I noticed that Remus was now hunched over slightly, groaning and making these pain-filled sounds that were hard to listen to. Sirius rushed him towards the tree into a little entrance, and James hurriedly joined. I stomached the anxiety that the tree gave me and followed as well. Remus was screaming at this point and I kind of felt like throwing up. I hated watching this, but I felt like I couldn’t back out now—and I certainly couldn’t reveal myself, I thought they would think of me as horrible and sadistic if I did. James and Sirius assisted Remus by chaining him up, but they ended up having to do it themselves as Remus was overtaken by pain and shrieking and screaming louder than I’ve ever heard anyone.  
   
That’s when I realized where we were. The Shrieking Shack. I didn’t understand. Was Remus getting chained up in the Shrieking Shack every month?  
   
Once the boys were done chaining him, they reassured him that they wouldn’t be far (close enough to hear him but far enough for him not to smell them or something like that) (they use magic to hear him anyway, I’m not sure if he knows that or not—I think it’s just to comfort him) and then they bailed.  
   
At the time, I thought that was heartless. I wasn’t aware how dangerous it was for me to stay, so I stayed.  
   
After I didn’t think his screams could get any louder, I started to hear this terrible cracking, intensifying his screams. I wanted to comfort him, but when I saw that it was his bones making the cracking sounds—breaking and reshaping—I froze. I was mortified. As much as I wanted to help him, as much as I wanted to stop this, I couldn’t move. I just watched as everything about him violently changed into something canine.  
   
A wolf. A werewolf. A real, living, breathing werewolf—right in front of me.  
   
Except it wasn’t just a werewolf. It was one of my best friends. He seemed calm, and the fact that werewolves exist temporarily shook off the paralysing sight of bones contorting. I moved towards him, not removing the cloak. I figured he would still know who I am, and I figured that I’d be safe if I went near him. (both because I trust him and because he was restrained by the chains).  
   
He was sniffing air—he could smell me, which I knew because he glared in my direction and tilted his head at me, unable to see me. He snarled and growled, which I mistook as confusion. I took off the cloak so he could see me.  
   
“ _Remus, it’s okay, it’s just me,_ ” I said, softly.  
   
He growled more, and like an idiot, I got closer.  
   
“ _It’s [y/n], calm down, you’re okay._ ” I took another step closer.  
   
He attacked.  
   
I screamed and put up my arms to shield myself, I didn’t get into the habit of relying on my wand until third year. I quickly backed away until I was leaning against the wall, then I let myself slide down into a sitting position.  
   
He didn’t bite me, he just scratched me—that was all he could manage with how the chains were—but bloody hell, it hurt.  
   
Not wanting to get blood on James’s cloak (it was enough that I stole it in the first place) I removed my sweater and tied it around my arm as tightly as I could so I wouldn’t bleed as much, and I wrapped what I could around the scratch wounds themselves. I winced.  
   
After a couple moments, I remembered that I could use a healing spell. I reached for my wand in my pocket, but I didn’t feel it. I frantically patted all of my pockets before noticing that I dropped it. I fucking dropped my wand—right in front of Remus.  
   
James and Sirius burst in as I was trying to work up the courage to snag my wand back without getting scratched.  
   
“ _What the hell!? You can’t be here!_ ” Sirius shouted.  
   
“ _It’s not safe, we need to go!_ ” James joined, swiftly grabbing his cloak from the ground.  
   
“ _He hurt you,_ ” Sirius pointed out, shocked.  
   
I couldn’t say anything, but Sirius’s words hit me like a train. Remus did hurt me, but the way Sirius said it made it sound… personal.  
   
Yanking me up, James pushed me out of the Shrieking Shack, getting me out as quickly as possible, Sirius following suit.

•••

Second year healing spells weren’t enough to reverse the effects of gushing gashes, so I spent the rest of the night in the Hospital Wing. Sirius and James took me there, but I made sure they left before I went in so they wouldn’t get in trouble. I had also told Madam Pomfrey that I was practising magic in my dorm and I had picked up my dorm mate’s wand by mistake. She didn’t question it and fixed and bandaged my arm. She also told me it would scar.  


 

When I woke up I was glad that I didn’t have to dream about Remus’s bones breaking and contorting anymore. My arm still hurt, but it was much less painful than what it had been before. I thanked Madam Pomfrey and left the Hospital Wing as soon as I was able, only to head back to my dorm.  
   
My dorm mates were absent, and my wand was on my bed. Underneath it was a chocolate bar, and they were attached to each other by a ribbon. I looked for a note, like an apology or an indication of whether or not Remus left this, but there was nothing.  
   
Getting changed out of my bloodied clothes, I put on another one of regular outfits (it was still the weekend so I had no obligation to wear my robes). I untied the ribbon and put my wand in my pocket. The ribbon looked nice, I didn’t want to throw it out, so I put it in my drawer. Since I spent the night in the Hospital Wing, I had slept through breakfast and had the chocolate bar as my breakfast to substitute. Before leaving my dorm, I made sure my sweater sleeve completely covered my bandages.  
   
Afterwards, I went to find Remus in his dorm, but I bumped into James and Sirius instead.  
   
“ _Does he know?_ ” I asked, not being nearly descript enough. I didn’t want to admit that he hurt me.  
   
“ _Does he know that you know?_ ” James guessed.  
   
“ _Does he know about my arm?_ ” I said, hesitantly.  
   
“ _We didn’t tell him,_ ” stated Sirius. “ _We didn’t tell him anything. He didn’t ask. But he was holding your wand when we went to get him at sunrise._ ”  
   
“Right…” I subconsciously gripped my wand.  
   
“ _You should go see him. He made me leave you a chocolate bar so he definitely feels bad about something,_ ” said James.  
   
“ _That’s what I’m here to do._ ”  
   
The entire interaction was delicate. It was as if our normal voices would shatter any nearby glass, it was like we had to be careful.  
   
James and Sirius moved aside and I made my way to Remus.  
   
I stopped in the doorway, speaking even more delicately than before. “ _Hey._ ”  
   
He looked up. He looked awful, and once he saw me, he looked apologetic. “ _You know._ ”  
   
“ _I know. I’m sorry._ ” Bloody hell I was sorry. I was so so so sorry. “ _I should have waited for you to tell me._ ”  
   
“ _I wouldn’t have told you. I haven’t told anyone. I'm not supposed to let anyone know._ ” He looked to the parts of the dorm that belong to James and Sirius, and then looked back at me. “ _They found out the same way you did._ ”  
   
“ _Oh…_ ” I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just sat carefully on the edge of his bed.  
   
Suddenly, he jolted up, concerned. “ _What’s that?_ ”  
   
“ _What?_ ” My sleeve had risen slightly, and I hadn't noticed.  
   
“ _Your arm, is it bandaged?_ ”  
   
“ _No,_ ” I lie, pulling my sleeve down. Lying to him felt wrong.  
   
“ _Let me see,_ ” Remus insisted.  
   
Sighing, I rolled up my sleeve and let him see the bandages. I was surprised to see that a bit of blood had seeped through.  
   
“ _I hurt you, didn’t I?_ ” His voice broke a bit. Judging by his reaction I don’t think he has ever managed to hurt James or Sirius.  
   
I said nothing. I didn’t want to say yes, but there was no way in hell that I was going to look him in the eyes and say no. Especially because I had already tried to tell him my arm wasn’t bandaged.  
   
“ _I hurt you, didn’t I?_ ” Remus repeated, with a hint of sternness.  
   
“ _Calm down, it’s okay,_ ” I said, gently.  
   
“ _No, it’s not!_ ”  
   
“ _Remus, it’s alright, I’m not upset,_ ” I reassured.  
   
He examined me a bit. “ _You think differently of me._ ”  
   
“ _Yes._ ” I know he wanted me to say no. “ _You are much stronger than I thought. I don’t know how anyone could handle that much pain every thirty days._ ”  
   
He began to look flushed. “ _I still hurt you._ ”  
   
“ _It’s okay,_ ” I say again, with a sincere and understanding tone. “ _I promise._ ”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [y/n], James, Sirius and Remus begin to brew the Veritaserum.

“Well, it took a week—but I have everything,” James says, looking under his bed.

James, Sirius, Remus and I were all in their dorm room, and I was sitting with Remus on his bed. 

James pulls out an iron cauldron filled with Standard Potioning Water, a vial of Ptolemy, Powdered Moonstone, an Adder's Fork (which I was not looking forward to work with—bloody snake’s tongue… disgusting) Jobberknoll Feathers, Sopophorous Beans, a silver knife, a strainer, and a bottle for the potion itself. As he pulled each item out, he listed what it was and where he nicked it from.

Sirius has my notes on the potion sprawled out before him. Not bothering to look up, he asks, “Why couldn’t we just take some from Slughorn’s office?” 

“Because,” I started. “Potions is my best class and I am not risking my grades as a result of how obvious it is when a potion goes missing. I’m sure Slughorn knows how many of what potions he has, but who has time to keep track of every potions ingredient in the school?”

“Fair enough,” sighs Sirius. “Just don’t fuck it up.”

“Thanks…” I say with an overly sarcastic tone.

“[y/n] won’t mess up,” Remus shyly insisted. “[y/n] doesn’t mess up potions. The potions are always perfect.”

I look at Remus. His ears are so red they must be burning. I smile and speak with a genuine tone. “Thanks.” 

James clears his throat.

“Anyways…” I continue. “Is it a new moon?”

“Yeah, October twenty-third,” answers Remus. 

He must have the moon cycles down pat—it’s kind of saddening, really.

“Then let’s get started.” I move to the floor, where all the potion supplies are. 

“Bring the Standard Potioning Water to a simmer in the iron cauldron,” Sirius reads. 

I use magic to do so. Sirius continues to read the steps from my notes. 

Once the water is simmering, I pour in the Vial of Ptolemy and stir anticlockwise for ten minutes.

“Ten whole minutes?” James asks.

“Let [y/n] focus,” Remus interrupts.

The ten minutes of stirring pass, and it’s time to add the Powdered Moonstone.

“One spoonful at a time, dissolving thoroughly…” I mumble to myself.

I guess I made a face at the Adder’s Fork earlier because I noticed Remus had sat beside me and was cutting the tongue in half lengthwise for me. He waits for my okay to drop it in.

Nodding, I watch him drop it and I bring up the heat, allowing the semi-concocted potion to sit at a rolling boil. I get the twelve Jobberknoll Feathers and drop them into the cauldron one by one, stirring clockwise one time after each feather.

Remus crushes the Sopophorous Beans with the flat of the silver knife quickly and effectively and adds them to the mixture when I tell him to.

Allowing the mixture to cool, I strain the potion into the bottle. 

“Disgusting,” I say, grimacing at the ingredients left in the strainer.

“Disgusting? You mean bloody brilliant!” James practically shouts, excited at the potion’s seeming success.

“It might seem right, but we won’t know for sure until it matures for twenty-eight days,” I mention. 

“It says here that you have to bring it out to absorb the light of the full moon,” Sirius adds. 

“Yeah… that too.” Another full moon where I have to sit back while James and Sirius help Remus. 

Changing the topic slightly, Remus speaks up. “Here,” he holds out his hand near where I’m holding the strainer (which was as far away from me as possible without looking mental). “I’ll take that from you.”

Giving him the strainer, I get up and pick up the potion. “I’ll take this to my dorm, it needs a cool, dark place to mature, so I’ll be right back.”

After hiding the Veritaserum under my bed, I went to return to the boys but stopped right outside their dorm, overhearing a bit of conversation.  
“Nice job, Moony,” Sirius says, almost mockingly. Not in an insulting way, but like he _knows _something.__

__“Shut it,” Remus dismisses._ _

__“What~?” Sirius asks, with the same tone._ _

__“Stop,” Remus says, dragging on the word._ _

__“You’ll have to step up your game if you want it to go anywhere,” James joins._ _

__I walk back in, deciding that I’ve eavesdropped enough. “Hey.”_ _

__“Oh, hey,” Remus stutters. His face is quite flushed._ _

__Sirius snickers and James elbows him._ _

__I end up spending the night in the extra bed in their dorm._ _

__•••_ _

__I wake up in the middle of the night._ _

__All I can hear is rapid tossing and turning (and occasionally a snore from Sirius), and I look up to see who it is. It’s Remus._ _

__“Remus?” I call, as gently as possible, not to wake the other boys._ _

__He doesn’t stop, and I figure he must be having a nightmare of some sorts._ _

__Getting out of the bed, I walk over to him, careful to not make any noise._ _

__Gently touching his shoulder, I whisper, “Hey, wake up.”_ _

__He doesn’t, and I’m close enough to see that his expression is quite stressed._ _

__“Remus,” I whisper, slightly louder. I shake him a bit._ _

__Jolting up and backing away quickly as if he was trying to escape something, Remus shouts “I’m sorry!” before he even realizes that he was asleep._ _

__I tense up, assuming that would wake James and Sirius._ _

__Sirius just continues a quiet snore._ _

__James turns, pulling his blanket over him more. “Shut up,” he mutters in a groggy voice, before going back to sleep._ _

__Relaxing a bit, I turn back to Remus, who’s looking at me as if I had just performed one of the Unforgivable Curses._ _

__“Are you alright?” I ask, as quietly as possible._ _

__He glances at my arm and I hide it. Usually, I have my arm covered—it’s probably hard on him to see that he had scarred one of his friends—but I sleep in a tee shirt._ _

__Exhaling, he apologizes again._ _

__“Don’t.” I sit on the edge of his bed._ _

__“I still feel guilty,” he admits. It’s no secret that he feels bad about it, but he’s never admitted it out loud before. Maybe it’s because we’re kind of alone together—which rarely happens. Maybe he never wanted to mention it in front of James and Sirius, and now that they’re both snoring, they won’t hear us so it’s okay._ _

__“It’s not your fault,” I whisper._ _

__“It was still me,” he counters. I can tell he doesn’t want to argue, but he refuses to let it go._ _

__“Remus, I’m not upset about it and I never have been,” I reassure._ _

__He quits._ _

__“Whenever I say ‘I love you guys’ it includes _you _, you know,” I say, standing back up.___ _

____He grows flustered and hesitates, but he doesn't say anything. He must’ve thought too much to be even slightly confident in a response._ _ _ _

____Chuckling, I whisper, “Go back to sleep, and try to dream of something nicer.”_ _ _ _

____Remus tries to go back to sleep as I get back into my bed. Secretly, I make sure he falls asleep calmly before falling asleep myself._ _ _ _


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween, and [y/n], James, Sirius and Remus plan a party.

I’ve tried and tried and tried again. No luck. But I won’t stop trying. I refuse to give up on becoming an Animagus. I’m determined to be able to help Remus.

•••

Honestly, the Hallowe’en Feast is something I look forward to every year. Most students look forward to it every year. Also, it’s nice to see the first years’ faces light up at the sight of it all. The ceiling of the Great Hall is bewitched to look spookier than usual, countless live bats (which look like little flying puppies, I love them), jack-o-lanterns everywhere (including floating in the air above the tables), and the biggest bloody pumpkins I’ve ever seen in my life.

I go to sit beside Remus—across from James and Sirius—and for the sixth Halloween in a row, I’m absolutely amazed. On the table, there are pumpkins filled with sweets, black cauldrons filled with huge lollipops, carrot cake, goblets of coloured candy, and pretty much any Halloween treat you can think of. Remus has already gone for the chocolate, of course.

“You know what would be amazing?” I take a piece of carrot cake. I know hardly anyone enjoys carrot cake, but the one they have at the Hallowe’en Feast is bloody perfect. 

“What?” James asks, with a piece of candy in his mouth.

“A Halloween party,” I say. “Costumes are encouraged.”

Sirius raises his eyebrows and tilts his face slightly down. “You think we can throw together a party under such short notice?”

“Just a small one. Like…” I search for the right words. “Not a _party_ party, more like an intimate get together.”

“Well, who are you thinking of inviting, then?” James prompts.

“Obviously the four of us, maybe _Lily Evans _?”__

__“Alright,” starts James. “I’ll make an invitation.”_ _

__I laugh._ _

__“Make two. One for sour-grape Snape, but put the wrong location on that one,” encourages Sirius._ _

__James snickers and agrees._ _

__“Don’t do that,” I plead._ _

__“You want to actually invite him?” James mocks._ _

__“Not necessarily…” I trail. Bloody hell, I don’t want him coming. He’ll probably rat on us for throwing a party in the first place, no matter how minuscule it is._ _

__“Then I’m doing it,” insists James, finishing Lily’s invitation and pulling out another small piece of parchment to begin Severus’s fake one._ _

__Releasing a sigh, I put my hand to my head._ _

__“Hey,” Remus says to catch my attention. “Try one of these, they’re new this year.”_ _

__He gives me a little blue hard candy that was in one of the pumpkins, and it’s fucking brilliant._ _

__Remus chuckles as I search one of the pumpkins for the blue sweets and pocket each one I can find._ _

__“You’re not allowed to take food out of the Great Hall~” Remus teases._ _

__I stick my tongue out at him and take another piece of carrot cake._ _

__James clears his throat and reads the false invitation he came up with. “‘ _Our deepest apologies for providing such short notice, but you are invited to a Hallowe’en party! Please wear your most outrageous costume and meet us a few feet into the Forbidden Forest at 9:00 PM. _’ I think that should give us a laugh.”___ _

____My eyebrows furrow. “Really, James? The Forbidden Forest?”_ _ _ _

____“Relax, it’s just a harmless prank,” James says, without an ounce of reassurance. “Besides, a secret party needs a secret location.”_ _ _ _

____“My thoughts exactly,” encourages Sirius._ _ _ _

____“You’re both terrible,” I say, meaninglessly. I could never genuinely say that to them._ _ _ _

____“Who else are we inviting?” Remus asks._ _ _ _

____“Let’s just let the information spread and allow whoever,” suggests Sirius._ _ _ _

•••

____I did it. I fucking convinced Remus Lupin to dress as a vampire for our little Halloween party. Of course, I had to agree to dress like one, too, but it’s worth it. I actually convinced a literal _werewolf _to dress as a _vampire _._____ _ _ _

________Anyways, our little party starts in about half an hour and I’m doing Remus’s makeup. I have some makeup that I use to make myself look sick in order to skip classes with justification, and I’m using that to make Remus look pale._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Vampires are… defined, right?” I ask, not really sure what I’m talking about._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What?” Remus laughs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“In movies and stuff, don’t they have defined features?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t know,” says Remus, with the tone of a question._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I take some dark grey powder and try to make his nose, cheekbones and temples more defined. “This is one of the colours I put under my eyes to make myself look tired and sick.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He chuckles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Now for some blood,” I say, giving him the fake blood James had lent us. “Put it on your bottom lip and let it drip a bit. If you want it to look more real, wipe your mouth with the back of your hand as if you’ve just eaten something messy.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He does what I tell him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Once I finish my own vampire makeup, we head into the common room to take over the party decorations and let James and Sirius—who were previously in control of the decorations—get their costumes ready._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The common room looked brilliant. Unfinished, but brilliant. The decorations are so unapologetic and blatant that it would probably piss off any kid who just wants to sit and relax in the common room—that’s probably what they were going for._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________I’ve only ever seen real Halloween parties in muggle films, and the only way I can describe the party setup is like the ones in the movies, but with more _movement _. Red party cups, fake spiders enchanted to move in their fake webs, a punch bowl with a ladle stirring by itself… The details are awesome.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I see Remus flick his wand up towards the ceiling. Looking upwards, I see a clear night sky._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Woah,” I say, without thinking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Remus chuckles. “I did some research on bewitching the ceiling to look like the sky like how it is in the Great Hall.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Nice touch,” I smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________As we’re finishing up the decorations, James and Sirius come out in their costumes. They’re dressed as characters from the fucking _Rocky Horror Picture Show _. James—who’s dressed as Eddie—has greased hair, a leather vest, a shirt that says “Eddie”, a slingshot around his neck, a white scarf, a fake saxophone, Eddie’s tattoos drawn on in marker, and a pair of jeans that look like he bleached sections of it himself. He also has a fake gash on his forehead—equally unrealistic to the one in the movie. Sirius, on the other hand, is dressed as Frank N Furter. He’s in full drag makeup, high heels, fishnet stockings, a pearl necklace, a green lab coat and pink rubber gloves. He’s even got the sides of his hair slicked back to emulate Tim Curry’s mullet.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Remus and I are speechless, and then suddenly burst out laughing. This blows my whole werewolf-dressed-as-vampire concept out of the water. They look bloody proud of themselves._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Where did you get all this?” I ask, still laughing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s a secret,” James and Sirius say in unison, smiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Eventually, Gryffindor students begin to show up. We made sure to gossip about the party details and get other students to gossip as well so people would show up out of curiosity at the very least._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The entire night goes pretty much how I expected it until Lily Evans came to the party solely to throw a glass of punch at James for trying to send Severus into the Forbidden Forest. Other than that, it was a good time with nothing that surprising. A couple first years gorged themselves on too much Halloween candy, someone spiked the punch, and James, Sirius, Remus and I just had fun._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________I fell asleep on Remus’s shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support for this story! I meant to post this just before Halloween but I didn't remember until today, sorry about that!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [y/n] works on the Veritaserum, makes another attempt to become an Animagus and studies with Remus for an upcoming Potions assignment.

It’s November sixth, 1976, and it’s a bloody lunar eclipse. If the Veritaserum is a success at all, a drop won’t last longer than half an hour, and the potion itself will probably expire after a week at the most. As the sky begins darken, I take the Veritaserum out from under my bed and go to the dorm that James, Sirius, and Remus share. I put it on their window sill instead of the one in my dorm just to eliminate the possibility of one of my dorm mates either interfering with it or ratting me out. 

The three of them have already left to take Remus to the Shrieking Shack—I hope the lunar eclipse lessens the pain of his transformation. I notice that James left his Invisibility Cloak, so I borrow it. They’ve gotten better about sneaking out and sometimes don’t use it, and James told me that I was allowed to borrow it whenever I wanted after I apologized for stealing it in second year.

It’s time to try to become an animagus again. Hiding under the cloak, I search throughout the school for the materials I need. I steal a Mandrake leaf, a silver teaspoon, a chrysalis of a Death’s Head moth, and a crystal phial. Though there are a couple other things I need, I can’t get them until later so I return James’s cloak and then return to my dorm. Checking that my dorm mates aren’t here—which they almost never are because, like me, they usually sleep in their friends’ dorms—I hide my materials under my bed aside from the Mandrake leaf. I place the leaf under my tongue, and dread the fact that I have to hold it in my mouth for a whole month. I usually mess up and swallow it accidentally, and then I have to wait the remainder of the month until the next full moon to try again. 

•••

Remus is an absolutely brilliant person to study with. He doesn’t talk too much—which is especially helpful in my case as I’ve been carrying around that bloody leaf in my mouth for a week—and he stays focused but is willing to help. Monday’s Potions class consists of making Amortentia, a fairly advanced love potion. A potion I’ve been dreading since I first found out that it was part of our curriculum. All that most-powerful-love-potion-in-existence stuff is bullshit to me. 

Either way, it still pays to be prepared, whether I want to prepare or not. Being around Remus makes it easier. He has such a calming presence. I absolutely love those people where you can exist in the same space with them, not talk, and have it not be awkward. It’s therapeutic, really. 

There’s not much light in the library, most of the tables are secluded by bookshelves with a singular small lamp. Luckily, we got a quiet area next to a window, in which our study notes and textbooks are illuminated by natural light—contrary to the irritatingly yellow-toned light the library possesses. The light from the window allows me to read and write without straining my eyes and getting a headache, which is what usually happens. Also, the entire library smells like old leather-bound books, and our study area smells like fresh parchment and ink—simultaneously comforting and refreshing. Amortentia smells different to every person, and although I don’t care for love potions, I’m extremely curious about how it will smell to me and my peers.

“The notes are fairly vague,” starts Remus. “Aside from the directions, anyways.”

“Yeah.” I push the Mandrake leaf to the side of my mouth with my tongue to avoid slurring. 

“It’s contradictory.” 

I glance at his face. His annoyed expression is illuminated by pale blue light from the window on his right side and the warm yellow light from the lamp on his left. Watching his brow furrow and his eyes flick quickly from line to line, I couldn't help but chuckle.

“‘It’s the most powerful love potion in existence’ but it still can’t make people fall in love,” I say, in a mocking voice. 

Remus loosens up a bit and chuckles as well. “Seriously, it’s held with such high regard as the strongest love potion, but it only makes the quaffer infatuated and obsessed with the brewer.”

“Which is kind of terrifying,” I continue for him. “I wouldn’t want someone having an unhealthy obsession with me, even if it’s just a day.”

“Well, you could brew it with amazing success and have someone freakishly obsessed with you for a whole year,” Remus teases.

“Or I could completely fail and have a stalker that’s completely mental,” I say, pointing to the effects of the worst way the potion could fail.

Remus reads it under his breath. “Oh, wow.”

We fade back out of conversation. Every time I study with Remus we just fade in and out of conversation, usually initiated by Remus making some sort of snarky or sarcastic comment. Eventually, we finish up our study notes and collect our things. Both of us push in our chairs and head back to the Gryffindor common room.


End file.
